


The Adventures of Furry Menace & Snake Boy

by Batfink



Series: The Continuing Adventures of Furry Menace & Snake Boy [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Underworld (Movies)
Genre: Angel Healing, Arguing, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Declarations Of Love, Developing Relationship, Dorks in Love, Getting Together, Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Matter of Life and Death, Rare Pairings, Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, Swearing, Teasing, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Power Of Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 12:31:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20153632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batfink/pseuds/Batfink
Summary: “If you wanted a little bondage, you should have at least bought me dinner.”  He grinned, trying not to let his nerves show.The demon smiled.  A hint of fang.  Thinner than Lucian's own, more like a snake, which, considering the eyes...“What I wanted.”  The demon began, stalking closer to the bed.  “Was to not have my building become ground zero in your petty little war with the vampires.”





	The Adventures of Furry Menace & Snake Boy

Lucian groaned and opened his eyes, slowly taking in his surroundings. He was handcuffed. The cuffs silver, but covered in a fuzzy black material. It meant he couldn't break them, but they didn't burn.

The cuffs did not surprise him. The fact that they were being used to restrain him on a bed covered in black satin sheets, did.

“Well, this is new.” He muttered to himself sniffing the air. Not vampire. Not human either. Another scent, rarer but perhaps more familiar because of it. Demon.

He looked down at his bare chest, the silver bullets long gone and the wounds healed. He would have gotten away clean if he hadn't been knocked unconscious by some idiot vampire that had run out of bullets and thrown the fucking gun. He sighed. Demons were a pain in his furry butt, but they could usually be bargained with. Best to get this show on the road.

“Hey, asshole!” He yelled rattling the chains that were attaching him to the headboard. “Come on and face me.”

The door swung open a moment later and a tall, slim, flame haired demon sauntered casually into the room. Wow, Lucian thought. He'd never seen a demon that looked like that before.

“If you wanted a little bondage, you should have at least bought me dinner.” He grinned, trying not to let his nerves show.

The demon smiled. A hint of fang. Thinner than Lucian's own, more like a snake, which, considering the eyes...

“What I wanted.” The demon began, stalking closer to the bed. “Was to not have my building become ground zero in your petty little war with the vampires.”

“Ah.” Lucian nodded. “Sorry about that.” He shifted and the cuffs rattled. “I'll be sure to make the others aware this block is out of bounds.”

The demon nodded. “I'm sure you will.” His eyes raked over Lucian's form and a slim, forked tongue that Lucian was sure hadn't been there a moment ago, flicked from between his lips. Not that Lucian had been looking at his lips. No. Far from it.

“So, demon. Can I go now?” He asked hopefully.

“Crowley.” The demon replied.

“Beg pardon?” Lucian asked confused.

The demon rolled his eyes. “My name is Crowley."

“Oh! Heh. Sorry.” Lucian stammered embarrassed. “Umm, Lucian.” He added as casually as he could manage.

The demon had moved closer and his scent was somewhat overpowering the lycan's senses. He smelt smokey and woodsy. Like a campfire in the rain. Lucian found that he rather liked it.

Crowley leant towards him and reached for one of the cuffs. “Thanks, by the way.” Lucian said quietly, now that the demon was close. “For the...” He flicked his head towards the cuff. “The fuzzy stuff. Saved me from getting burned by the silver.” Crowley's hand dropped from the cuff and he raised an eyebrow. “Not like a demon to care about hurting a prisoner.”

“Met many demons have you?” Crowley asked.

“One or two.” Lucian shrugged. “Met an angel once too. Nice guy. Didn't know what the hell to do with a lycan mind you.” He huffed a laugh.

Crowley's fingers had returned to the cuff, but he wasn't unfastening it, just playing with the chain. “You're not really a prisoner.” He said at last and with a click of his fingers, the cuffs fell away to clink onto the pillows. “I just didn't want you to get away before I had time to warn you to keep your war, off my doorstep."

“Fair enough.” Lucian smiled, sliding himself towards the edge of the bed. His boots were on the floor beside the bed and he slipped them on, not bothering with the laces before he stood.

Another snap and Crowley was holding his shirt and coat, both of which looked like they had been cleaned. Lucian reached out to take them and their fingers brushed, a spark crackling between them. Surprised, Lucian looked up to see the demon staring back at him, a matching look of surprise on his face.

“Uh, thanks.” Lucian muttered, quickly slipping on his shirt and coat. He eyed the door, unsure as to why he was hesitating instead of bolting for freedom. Demon powers don't work on lycans. One of those little quirks of their unnatural existence, so it wasn't like the demon was stopping him.

“You know...” Crowley gave him a sly grin. “I could buy you dinner. If you wanted?”

Lucian's eyes snapped from the door to Crowley's face. “Mexican?” He asked, without a clue as to why.

“Thai.” Crowley replied.

“That'll work.” Lucian nodded and the demon's grin got even bigger.

\--- 

Crowley smiled against the kiss, laughing breathlessly as Lucian tore at his shirt. “Hey, I liked that one.”

Lucian growled, low in his throat. “You can fix it. Don't pretend.”

Crowley groaned as Lucian attacked his nipple, trying to stay focussed on being annoyed with the lycan. “If I do that, I'll just get another lecture.”

“Poor baby.” Lucian laughed before moving up to nip at his earlobe, grinding their hips together as he did so.

Crowley hissed at the exquisite sensation. “You're a furry menace.”

“You love it snake boy.” Lucian laughed sucking a mark onto Crowley's neck.

“Ngk!” Crowley responded and rolled them until Lucian was pinned beneath him, a hand reaching out for the handcuffs attached to his headboard.

\--- 

“Why do you insist on making deals with that fucking vampire?” Crowley snarled. “You're supposed to be enemies.”

“Oh no.” Lucian snarled back. “You don't get to lecture me on deals with the enemy when your best friend is an angel.”

Crowley glared at him. “Aziraphale doesn't want me dead.”

“Kraven doesn't want me dead either.” Lucian insisted.

“Oh, but he does.” Crowley stated darkly. “He's losing control. He'll kill you to save his own hide.”

“We're close.” Lucian huffed. “Close to ending this war once and for all.”

“With Michael?” Crowley scowled. “He won't end the war. He'll just, make it different.”

Lucian shrugged. “Anything's better than the mess we're in right now.”

“I hope you're right.” Crowley huffed.

\--- 

Lucian bucked his hips up impatiently. “Come on, Crowley.”

Crowley pushed him back down and continued his slow licks up the inside of the lycan's thigh. “So impatient tonight.” He smiled, nipping at a sharp hip bone. “Got somewhere else to be?”

“What?” Lucian yelped as he felt the prick of fangs. “No, of course not.” He rattled the handcuffs. “Just want you to stop teasing and get on with it.”

Crowley sighed and lifted his head. He pointed to his chest. “Demon.” He stated. “Practically invented lying.” He scowled down at the lycan. With a snap of his fingers, Lucian was freed. “Go.”

Lucian looked guilty for all of a second and then he was moving, grabbing his clothes and stumbling towards the door as he pulled them on. “I'll make it up to you.” He mumbled, but Crowley just waved him off angrily.

\--- 

Crowley knew that Kraven was one day going to try to kill Lucian. He didn't think he would actually succeed, but then he didn't know about the silver nitrate bullets either.

He answered his phone on the second ring. “Lucian?”

There was harsh breathing on the other end of the line for a moment, then a painful sounding cough. “I'm... sorry!” Lucian panted out before Crowley heard the clatter of the phone being dropped.

“LUCIAN!” Crowley yelled, not waiting for an answer before he dived into the phone line, travelling through the connection to pop out the other end beside his lycan. He knelt down beside him and grabbed his arms, hissing when he saw the silver leaking from the wounds. “What the fuck is this?”

Lucian coughed and tried to answer him but no words came out. “No, no, fuck! No!” Crowley panicked. “I can't.” He looked around frantically. “I can't heal this.”

He held tight to Lucian's arms and screamed. “AZIRAPHALE!” A breath. “AZIRAPHALE!”

The angel popped into existence a few feet away from him, looking around. “Crowley, are you alright?” He asked concerned.

“Help him!” Crowley demanded.

Aziraphale's eyes flicked to Lucian. “Oh!” He rushed over. “I'm not sure I can.” He knelt beside Crowley and placed his hands gently on Lucian's head. Lucian's eyes flickered half open. “Now would be a good time to pray, young man.” Aziraphale said softly as a golden light started to form around him, wings fluttering into view. “Crowley?” Aziraphale spared him a glance. “I'm going to need your help too.”

“Me?” Crowley looked at him confused. “I can't heal.”

“You love him don't you?” Aziraphale enquired.

“Of course.” Crowley replied firmly.

“And he loves you?” Aziraphale asked.

“Well...” Crowley hesitated but his gaze was caught by Lucian nodding. “I. Do.” He choked out.

“There you go then.” Aziraphale nodded. “Love has power of it's own.” He raised one glowing hand from Lucian's head and gripped Crowley's hand.

Lucian's eyes went wide when Crowley's wings popped into view, then he blacked out.

\--- 

Lucian groaned and prised his eyes open. He smiled faintly when he recognised Crowley's bed. He lifted his hand, surprised to find it shackled and groaned.

“Hey Asshole!” He yelled, smiling.

The door swung open, but it was not his demon that entered.

“So...” Aziraphale began. “You're the lycan.”

Lucian nodded. “And, you're the best friend.”

Aziraphale inclined his head and approached the bed.

“On a scale of one to 'I told you so', how mad is he?” Lucian asked.

Aziraphale frowned. “Not nearly as mad as he should be.”

Lucian nodded again. “I get that.” He sighed and looked up guiltily.

“He cares about you a great deal.” Aziraphale said softly.

“Is this a shovel talk?” Lucian asked suspicious.

Aziraphale stepped up to the side of the bed, his wings fluttering into view, his whole form starting to glow.

Lucian paled slightly and shuffled across the bed as far as the chains would allow him as Aziraphale leant down over him. “This is an 'I'll be watching you', talk.” Aziraphale growled.

A strangled squeak escaped Lucian's lips.

A laugh came from the doorway and two sets of eyes turned to look at the demon. “Aziraphale.” Crowley chuckled. “Fucking hell. Stop trying to put the fear of god in my boyfriend.”

Aziraphale gave Crowley an innocent look then turned back to quickly narrow his eyes and make the 'watching you' gesture to the startled lycan, wings bristling. He straightened up then and turned to leave the room, patting Crowley on the shoulder as he went.

Crowley crossed the room and settled himself on the side of the bed.

“So, I'm still your boyfriend?” Lucian asked softly.

“That depends.” Crowley frowned not looking at him.

“I'm out.” Lucian stated. “Michael is made. The job is done. He can carry on without my help.”

Crowley nodded fractionally.

“Did I say I was sorry?” Lucian continued. “Because I am. Really, really, sorry. Plus, you were right.” He thumped the mattress in frustration. “You were so right and I am such an idiot for not listening.” He reached for Crowley's hand, chain rattling on the cuff. “I do love you, you know that yeah?”

Crowley turned to look at him at last, a fond smile tugging at his lips. “You are, an idiot.”

Lucian smiled. “Yeah, but I'm your idiot.”

Crowley closed the distance between them but paused when their lips were millimetres apart. “That you are.” He closed the gap and kissed Lucian soundly.

When they broke apart, Lucian gave an impish grin. “You know...” He began coyly, walking two fingers as far up Crowley's arm as the restraints would allow. “I still owe you one for the other night.”

Crowley scowled at him. “It would have been more than one.”

Lucian held up his wrists. “Well, how about you let me loose and I'll see what I can do?” He winked at Crowley.

Crowley rolled his eyes, but with a click of his fingers the cuffs released and with another click they were both naked.

Lucian laughed. “That is so helpful, thank you.” Before Crowley could respond, Lucian had tackled him and now Crowley was flat on his back with a very eager lycan in his lap.

“I'm not going to make this easy for you.” Crowley huffed.

“Wouldn't expect you too.” Lucian shrugged and then he lowered his head and set about kissing and nipping his way along Crowley's jaw, down his throat, across his shoulder and onto his chest. Little red hickies blooming in his wake. “Mine.” He growled softly before lapping his tongue across Crowley's nipple.

“How presssumptuousss.” Crowley hissed as Lucian shifted lower.

Lucian didn't reply, just worried at Crowley's hip with his teeth and tongue until another red mark formed. He moved on from the hip and shuffled his way down further sinking his teeth into the fleshy part of Crowley's thigh and Crowley slapped his hand over his own mouth to hold in his moan. “Cheater.” Lucian laughed letting his tongue soothe the bite mark.

“Just get on with it.” Crowley tried to snap, but it came out a lot more desperate sounding than he would have liked.

“As you wish.” Lucian whispered, fingers sliding over Crowley's thigh as he nibbled at the back of his calf.

Abandoning that side a moment later, Lucian switched to the other side, matching his nips, licks and red marks to the other side all the way up Crowley's body.

Crowley's cock was hard and leaking but Lucian was paying no attention to it, something Crowley was no longer willing to take lying down. He grabbed Lucian's arm and hauled him up from where he was flicking his tongue on Crowley's other nipple and glared at him.

Lucian had let his eyes change, star-shot blue pupils burst across obsidian irises in a manner that always took Crowley's breath away. He hissed sharply as the moving of Lucian brought their cocks into line briefly before Lucian moved his hips back separating them again.

“Quit teasing.” Crowley huffed, letting a hint of his own fangs show.

Lucian sat back, planting his ass firmly on top of Crowley's cock and gave a little wiggle.

Crowley hissed and lost his hold on his own eyes, the gold bleeding out through the whites.

Lucian grinned wide and ran his tongue slowly down one of his elongated canines before wiggling again.

Crowley hissed, again but this time he moved. He surged upwards and threw Lucian backwards. Lucian landed on the bed and bounced slightly. Before he had time to react though, Crowley was plunging two slick fingers firmly into his ass.

Lucian growled and clenched around the fingers. “Still mad at me?” He panted out as Crowley nudged aggressively at his prostate.

Crowley looked up at him. “Maybe a little.”

Lucian moaned loudly. “That's okay.” He managed to whisper.

Satisfied he was stretched enough, Crowley removed his fingers and with a brief shuffle of their bodies, he was plunging into Lucian.

Lucian snarled, claws suddenly digging into Crowley's arms. Crowley held still, waited for him to adjust to the intrusion. Being a little rough was fine. They could both take it, but he didn't actually want to hurt Lucian.

He waited, felt Lucian relax around him and then the twitch of his hips that signalled he was ready. Crowley pulled out, then slammed back in setting a punishing pace that was aimed directly at Lucian's prostate.

Lucian was whimpering, claws scrabbling at Crowley's arms, his back, his ass. It wasn't long before Lucian came, but Crowley didn't stop, he just kept at him, rhythm steady as Lucian writhed beneath him, panting harshly, breath caught between a whimper and a growl.

Crowley reached between them and wrapped long fingers around Lucian's cock which was starting to harden again. Lucian gave a bitten off yelp as Crowley squeezed. “Crowley!” He managed to gasp and golden eyes locked onto his.

“You're mine!” Crowley hissed as he jerked Lucian to completion again.

Lucian snarled and surged upwards flipping them so that he was once more astride Crowley's lap. He rose up and slammed himself back down onto Crowley's cock making him hiss. He set a frantic rhythm that soon had Crowley's cock pulsing inside him. “And you, are mine!” He growled leaning down at last to kiss the demon senseless.

They lay curled together, exhausted for some time afterwards. Neither of them possessing of the energy to move or speak until a thought occurred to Lucian. “Oh, hey, is your friend still here?”

Crowley briefly looked concerned then he relaxed and shook his head. “Nope, he's gone.”

“That's good.” Lucian nodded relieved. “I get the feeling he doesn't like me very much.”

Crowley laughed. “It's not that. He's just grumpy due to the amount of paperwork he had to do for saving your furry arse.”

“Oh!” Lucian looked guilty. “Remind me to thank him, next time I see him.”

Crowley twisted in his arms until he could kiss him. “I will, but he already told me the only thanks he needs is for you not to do it again.”

Lucian nodded. “I won't. From now on I am going to spend all my time with you. That should be safe enough. Unless you keep trying to shag me to death!” He laughed.

Crowley narrowed his eyes at him. “You should be so lucky.”

Lucian gave him a sappy smile. “I've been lucky since the day I met you.”

Crowley gagged. “Stop it. I'm going to be sick.”

“Nope.” Lucian grinned. “You are my sun, my moon, my shining stars.” He cackled.

Crowley tackled him, slamming their lips together so that Lucian could no longer talk. When he finally let up, a good ten minutes later, Lucian was panting for breath but still managed to gasp out between giggles. “My love, my light, my...”

Crowley kicked him out of bed before he could finish. Lucian lay on the floor cackling. Crowley leaned over the side of the bed and glared at him. “You can go off people, you know.” He huffed.

Lucian stopped laughing and looked at him seriously. “Yeah.” He nodded. “But not me.” He continued in a sing song voice. “You love me.”

Crowley threw a pillow at him. Then another. Then himself.


End file.
